I’d prefer to not Rekal

I have poison envy for where I put words.
It has ceased to exist.
I have a desire to be so cos —
it can be gone,
and come back in a differen’ name.

So if life could be the same —
memories backed up;
and come back in a differen’ name.
Perhaps a suspended animation like an xml file.

I count on Elon Musk.
I get his pursuits, his endeavors.
Everything else is a saturation;
a dull,
a bore.

Bored?
Bored.
This fly trapped in life’s glass
wants to go to Mars.

But who am I foolin’; I know
when I come back from a holiday from life,
I’ll choose the same name
and the same old bitter memories —
I’ll choose the same game.

For the first HisColumn
Neal Ym (Phalguni Y)

April 2017

Of one that flew away

In a realm of people,
I stand alone, eyes closed.
And I see you.

Sorrowful sweet sorrow fills the hollow upto the brim.
Sometimes it over-runs, and I choke a chokeful of sorrowful sweet sorrow, but —
it lets me see you.

And that’s when I open my eyes to see a world I didn’t despise.
As it rained every day and night,
Life’s music left for a distraction I didn’t write.

Neal Ym (Phalguni Y)
July 24, 2015

The difficulty of a run

Enthusiasm
is the sun
on the horizon
I sail to.
To Earth’s end, I’d sail
to find her up above
in a scornful smile.
Me — dead inside.
Enthusiasm
is the coconut shell
I cannot crack.
I threw it in frustration
to see it smile,
the scornful one,
to snide and bite.
Me — dead inside.

Neal Ym (Phalguni Y)
December 21, 2016

The Universe too has kinks

And you know it
when you realise
even dying isn’t that simple,
it is as complicated as living.

Life is miserably beautiful, and
dear old Universe is sadistic.

What if
when you go
to the dear old home of Death,
it makes you forever stay instead

in a coma,
at the gate?

Neal Ym (Phalguni Y)
April 3, 2017